That Thing Called Anesthesia

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I decided to write this post just because. Yea, just because!

Well I was bored. And I hadn’t posted anything in a while so there. Thats why.

I’m at home. Nursing my wounds… No, just nursing!. I went for surgery on Monday. There was something I needed to take care of and I finally had the means to do so! Whoopeee!!

To be honest, I am so proud of me. Really proud.

Now its recovery time. And boy oh boy am I bored. I don’t know whether the title of “Workaholic” befits me but enyewe I’m not the kind of person who yearns for 3-day weekends! I rarely go out and, coffee dates…wait, what are those? Exactly! I tend to be by myself a lot. And I am very particular when it comes to spending money! In other words, I call myself an economist. Going out for me needs to be budgeted for! Actually, almost everything for me needs to be budgeted for, planned ahead, etcetera etcetera.

Funny, I call myself spontaneous….. hmmm…..

I have never gone “under the knife” nor had a “nip and tuck” (Hehe am tryna be funny here! Work with me!) bur honestly, that experience was amazing. I mean, you get goosebumps all over and you talk with the doctor and he’s all cool calm and collected (unlike you!—thats why you never did medicine!) telling you to relax…its just an hour long operation ….and you’re on safe hands…am experienced….and don’t worry…you wont feel a thing….and all that nonesence stuff! In your head you cant stop thinking OMG! OMG! OMG! How is it gonna be! OMG! Am I okay? OMG! What the fkuc is anasthesia? OMG! Say what? I wont feel nothing? PHEW!!! Your worst fears are over and you smile back at him and follow him to the operating room.

Hmm…that light is big I say! Oh why are there so many people in here? Didn’t you say its a small operation?

Yes dear, don’t worry. These are students and they’re here to learn. You don’t mind now do you?

Oh no, of course not! I don’t mind…except you never told me am gonna be a lab rat! Kwani who do you think I am? You just wanna cut me up infront of these strangers and…

Ah,,,these ain’t no strangers Joliea, this here is Matthew, Mary, Lu….

I don’t give a isht who they are! I ain’t no lab rat… I am a well respected……. ooh! Is that a poodle? Ive always loved poodles! Here pretty pretty pretty! Come to mama….come to ma… ZZZzzzzz….

And that darn anasthesia kicks in. Hours later I find myself in bed and shaking like a leaf in autumn…wait…we don’t have autumn in Kenya! Oops my bad! OK…like a leaf in….er……Limuru. So, where was I, umm..oh, here, so I wake up shaking like a you-know-what in you-know-where (OK am being silly now!) and my friends are looking at me in disbelief…I ask myself, kwani am dead ama? It seems like am awake bur am not…WTH!!??

I try to mumble afew words but nadda! I wonder… Then the doc comes in and tells me to wake up. That the procedure went well.

And here are what we removed.

Eew!! are you trying to kill me again?! He hids the whatever-he-had and smiles and goes away.

And the rest is history.

Voila, am at home and recovering. That was my version of the story. I think someone laced the anasthesia with some pot…hmm…i wonder,,,,,,

Nice tym y’all!

Oh, and I have no lights! Darn KPLC! NB: Here in Kenya, ‘lights’ and ‘electricity’ mean the same thing!

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