Sex Worker, si “Poko”!

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The other day I got the priviledge to be in the same room as sex-workers in East Africa. I had the chance to hear their stories and share in their joys and more so their woes. It was quite an experience for me and I shall live to remember it.

Now, that is not the reason I set out to write this post. I must admit, the first first times I ever thought of sex work I felt like vomiting. I couldnt imagine someone giving themselves to someone else in order to earn a living. I couldnt imagine someone having relations (am using nice terms eh? Hehe!) with like say ten people in one night! Seriously!

But isn’t that the stereotype we’re used to? Isn’t that what we grew up being told that ‘prostitutes’ are? We’ve been told that prostitutes carry all manner of viruses. We’ve been told that they can’t have babies because of all the abortions they’ve had. We’ve been told that they’re loose and can’t hold a relationship. As in, need I say more? Is this true? Aren’t they human beings too? Let me invite you into my way of thinking. Maybe you’ll agree with me. I will take a rights-based approach to addressing this issue. No moral standing whatsoever, but I shall mention my reservations about sex work.

Sex work the way I view it is okay. Not many people would agree with me on that level. But why do I think its okay? Because I believe there is a need, and that need has to be met. I won’t bother you with much details but I shall mention just one example.

Picture a man (stereotypical-I know) who works long hours, doesn’t have the time to find a decent woman to be in a relationship with, or simply doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to go to a bar and struggle getting a one night stand, and is (quite obviously) in need for some sex. Now what does he do? Oh, lest I forget, his relationship with his hand has gone to the dogs so that’s out of question too… atleast for this day/night. So what does he do? “Dial 1-800-U-CAN-DO-ME” flashes through his mind. Its quick and easy and hey, no strings attached!

Don’t forget that this is but one scenario. So there is a man, in need for some quick sex, and who is to offer this service? A sex worker. Simple.

Sex workers are not promiscuous. Okay, not all of them are at least. And in any case, it depends on how you view promiscuity.. but that’s another conversation all together…I digress.. Promiscuity. I don’t think its about promiscuity. Its about the work. Once you try to divorce the sex from the sex work then maybe it may make some sense. What am I saying? Don’t look at it the way you personally view sex. And I mean how sex is for you. If you look at it in a ‘sex-work’ angle, it may make some sense. I know I know, its hard. Its hard to imagine someone engaging in something we hold so dear as sex for money. At least for me it is. But somehow I can understand. I can understand that its possible to divorce emotions from sex. Its possible to have sex with someone and enjoy it-or not-and purely for money. Its possible. Its happened before so its possible.

Its not all about the money. Believe it or not, some sex workers actually enjoy their job much more than you can imagine. They have a wild sex drive and thirst for sex that seems never to end. So why not make money from this thirst? Seems fair, no? Some sex workers really love the job. They like all the sex they can get, and also get money for it! Makes you wonder why you’re doing that job you’re doing for a moment right? Haha!

They deserve to be treated with dignity. Wooow… some people are eyeballing me right now. I didn’t flinch. I meant it. Just because someone is having sex for money (or something similar) doesn’t give anyone the right to judge them. All they ask for, no, demand that is accorded to them, is dignity and respect. We treat them as trash, brandish them as lower than dirt and even go as far as to rape them “to teach them a lesson”. Its cruel and inhuman. We need to stop judging them because it is not in our place. We also need to remove our head from under the sand. I mean, isn’t prostitution claimed to be the oldest profession? And if you think about it critically, haven’t we (who have sex) all given or received sex in return for something at least once in our lives? For love, for companionship, to get rid of that dreadful ‘vaginity’, to make sure we’re not ‘the only one’s who haven’t done it’, and so on and so forth? And then the name, its SEX WORKER, not ‘poko’ or ‘prostitute’ or any other name that might be or is offensive and/or degrading.

Finally, here is what Sex Worker Rights Activists try to tell you:

“WE WANT RIGHTS, NOT RESCUE

I could go on about this, but I will put my fingers to rest. Tell me what you think. Lets discuss.

*Over & Out*

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14 Responses to “Sex Worker, si “Poko”!”

  1. Leo_nerd Says:

    They are human as we are deserving respect and dignity. However, encouraging them to continue as the article does will just make their lives worse off than it is now. They go through a lot of inhumane treatment at the hands of society. Nobody should have to go through that every day. What they need is free rehabilitation, obtain self respect and be reintergrated back into society as our sisters and productive members of the society.

    • Joliea Says:

      @Leo,

      That is exactly what they don’t need. Saying that assumes they all go through hell. Saying that assumes they all wish they weren’t there. Saying that assumes that its immoral to all. Saying that is exactly what they’re against. Please read that last part and link on “rights, not rescue”. And get to know what THEY want.

      • wyndago Says:

        You mean to say its not immoral to all of them? That morality is subjective? When something is immoral, its immoral irrespective of what different people may think. The vice-versa is also true

      • Joliea Says:

        @wyndago,

        Morality is subjective. It is fluid and varies from one person to another. I’m sure if you think hard, you’ll notice this is true. Some things are immoral to some, and moral to others. A case of “one man’s meat is another man’s poison”.

  2. kri1987s Says:

    Some chap named Jesus was the first person I know who came to the rescue of an alleged sex worker in some thousand years before i was born. I think as long as it is not forced labor, sex work is good. It is art, i believe, just like painting or designing. Furthermore, it involves at least two individuals who open up to each other biologically and emotionally.
    It must be known that every time someone (male/female) has sex with a sex worker (not rape), they submit to the other’s command. They die. Question is, who is willing to die on a stranger, where there is no love? (or the love is for money?)

    • Joliea Says:

      @kris,

      Yea. You said it. Though I never got the second sentence about “having sex and dying”. I don’t follow. Care to clarify?

  3. bintimswahili Says:

    There’s this dude on some forum a while back who wrote a whole post about marriage being institutionalized prostitution. He made some very valid points that it was hard to refute..

    So really, question should be what is Prostitution? Is it only when the price is cash? Can it be when the payment are gifts?

    Most of our beliefs are based on the religions we prescribe to. When you take that out of the equation, and we don’t have any moral high grounds to stand on it becomes very hard to justify some of the things we loudly oppose.

    • Joliea Says:

      @bintimswahili,

      NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL OPEN-MINDEDNESS! Great comment my sister.

  4. wyndago Says:

    From a business point of view its good, a good business model, you have sex, you pay. From a legal point of view, its not okay. I dont know why they made it illegal but im sure they had valid reasons. From a moral point of view, not so good, bad infact. If your daughter told you she wanted to become a sex worker and its okay with you, ushindwe!, you’d not be a parent if you approved regardless of any conditions. Rights? Come on, you are too liberal for your own good. So if I want to die, I should commit suicide without anyone interfering because its my life? If I want to smoke weed, I should just do it, its my right? I suggest you look at life from a spiritual point of view then you will be safe. Forget other peoples ‘rights’, open-mindedness of your sort will only lead you astray. True freedom is not doing things because you can or want. But I dont know what freedom is, or I do but I dont want to trouble my mind right now, or itll make this comment too long and boring. Out

    • Joliea Says:

      @wyndago,

      Interesting comment. I am looking at this at a human rights point of view. Where, one has a right to do what they wish, as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. And yes, I am very open-minded and I completely obey the “free-will” notion. Suicide? Well, that’s a whole different discussion and for me, I say, if you want to kill yourself, go ahead and do it. But the human in me will want to assist you in every way possible to avert that. Sex work, I made my points clear. If my daughter wanted to be a sex worker and completely understood everything that it entails, the good the bad and the downright ugly, I wouldn’t stop her. Honestly. Its about the individual. I know it sounds bad but… I would let her reason it out and see if it sits well with her…putting all circumstances into consideration.

  5. robert Says:

    ok it may seem alright untill your own daughter chooses that proffession. its ok u sat with the workers,but have u eva taken tyme to sit with the kids or even the siblings of these people?difference in morality-related issues between people may be ok, but common ground should neva be overlooked.guyz who killed each other during the post election violence even prayed before raping defenseless women. don get me wrong, i like your open-mindedness but pliz be carefull. wat goes around fucks around.
    thanx

  6. Johnie Says:

    Nice discussion. What i don’t understand is how a woman can accept sex for less than 1K with all the risks involved. I also read in another blog, supposedly by one of the sex workers that when sex becomes work, its very rare for it to be fun. I wouldn’t advise the women to leave the job coz i don’t know what prompted them in the first place but i would definitely advise them to use different channels that can reduce the risks or at least increase the pay check. By the way, i can show them how coz i pity them

  7. dennis@yahoo.com Says:

    may sir God listen 2 them

  8. dennis@yahoo.com Says:

    deno u made a gd comment


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