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I wish I was made of stone.
That should be the title of today’s post. Because I really feel like it would be better if I was made of stone. Or brick perhaps. That I would be unbreakable. Unshakeable even. Strength notwithstanding. Somehow even the words that come out of my mind and are written here have that mellowness that I so wish sometimes didn’t exist.
Do you, my ardent and beloved readers, sometimes read my stuff and think, “hey, she really does write weirdly you know…” or something like that? Because even as I write this, I actually think that. And believe me, I am a spontaneous writer. I rarely plan ahead, I think it and I write it. Hence the title of my blog. Which by the way I might add, could have disappeared if it wasn’t for @cdohnio‘s coaxing! LOL!
Back to the point now. At this moment, at this very moment, I simply wish I knew it all. I wish I could handle it all. With a click of a button, or a snap of my fingers. I have so much to do, so little time. But even as I play that phrase in my mind I realise how wrong it is. We all have the same time. Basically, the time is as is. Never changing. Cant go back. But its up to us to determine how we spend it. Whether we are going to be consumed by distractions, or our little addictions that we believe have gone away only to realise later that we replaced them with others…whether we are going to fix our minds to focus on that which is more important. As in, there is so much to consider mpaka at times, I think, we spend a whole deal considering it all, rather than doing it.
Wait just a minute…did all that make any sense?
Anyhoo, I simply hope, and pray, that even when my mind wanders and makes mistakes on my behalf (LOL! Saa ni nini hiyo?) that the mistakes made make sense…somehow.(SMH!) and that my delusions make strides in my life. (SMHS!!).
Lets see. I shall not succumb to it. Rather…i will let it flow. Let it go. Let it be. As it has always been. Make improvements. Be me. Improve me. Make do. You know, be the best that I can be.
p.s. I know a lot of what I have written may or may not make any sense, but it makes perfect sense to me. Now the question you may want to ask yourself is… is your perfect sense my perfect sense?