Me I Don’t Go Out

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Yea, its true. Well, not that much anyway. Why? I have no frigging idea! Maybe its the fact that I am such an economist! Very much. I am really obsessed with how much I spend on anything. Even when I’m supposed to be having fun! It can be frustrating at times because then it means that instead on focusing on having fun I am focusing on hown much that fun is making a dent on my bank account! It makes me hate myself sometimes because it means I don’t have so much fun as id want to…though I don’t even know how much fun I wanna have because the last time I was out was, in simple terms, tenee!!!

But I wanna change, slightly. I wanna start going out more. I wanna be able to go out and have fun like my friends and not worry too much about how much is going down the drain of my throat! I wonder if thats even concievable! The thought of gobbling down drinks and entry fees without even stopping for a while to think about the consequences!

I grew up very saintly. Really, I did. By saintly I mean, I never did drugs, I never did alcohol, that is, too much of it. I was part of C.U.(Christian Union) all the way from primo. I was indeed saintly. And it went on when I came out of high school. Up to now, I don’t see why people drink a lot. In the first place I find beer to taste terribly awful yuuck even!!! I have never understood how people can drain like a whole crate of that into their system #nooffence people!

When I do go out, I usually have like one or two drinks and never more than that. I’m a girl and when you’re taking stuff like pretty blacky or royal red, you tend get drunk quite fast. And as far as I can remember, I have never gotten drunk, i.e. when am this older. The last time I got really drunk was when I was in 5th Grade and was at a get-together of sorts where my older cousin spiked my fanta with safari cane! It was horrible! I immediately got drunk and started wailing to my mom about feeling dizzy and laughing while at it. I fell on the stairs way too many times and finally blacked out in the living room infront of everyone while I was replaying my famous poem that made me number one in a recent competition! You simply had to be there! I still don’t know how I can remember all that!!

Anywhoo, you get the gist. Drinking ain’t my thing. And I know someone will tell me how oh, you don’t have to drink when you go out and bla bla bla…oh come on! Who believes that!!!

All I can say for now is that when my time comes, you will not recognize me!

Its Not You, Its Me

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How many times have you heard that line? How many of you have been dumped using that line? Well, I’m a girl and somehow, its a line ive not heard at all. Why? Because I am generally afraid of relationships! I fear them a lot! I have been hurt more than twice and id never want to go through such again.

The first time I heard those words for real they were coming from my first crush. I was deeply in love. Or so I thought! We had only been in the relationship for like two months and things were okay. See, in high school relationships, one doesn’t expect them to last. But tell that to the girl in the supposed relationship and you will definitely be getting some detail on your face! I wish I could write more on the gory details of how we used to sneak into far end toilets in the schools we found each other in during outings and innings and make out like crazy. Or the heavy petting that also went on…or even the time I….. I just wish I could but I will let your imaginations run wild!

Sadly, that guy left me. And he plastered that phrase on my face. I don’t even know why I cried so much while I knew he was a serial player. He had a battalion of girls around him all the time and I would stand a slight distance eyeing him sweet talking those girls like a hawk ready to pounce on his prey. Anywho, the point is that he left me.

The last time I heard those words for real again they were coming from my own mouth! I was in this really long relationship and I was not so sure where it was headed for. The guy was everything id want in aman. Sadly though he had this thing of silence that I couldn’t stand. We’d meet like once in two or three months and sometimes I think thats why the relationship lasted as long as it did! He’d promise to meet me at my place then he’d bail out at the last minute claiming to have made some bad planning or some stupid excuse such as that.

The reason why I went on with him for a long time before I called it quits was because I didn’t have time to look around for another guy and since he was around (for whatever short time he was actually around) I didn’t mind as such. Also, back then I was quite introverted and though flirtatious, never made any serious moves because I had issues to deal with and I felt that he was the only one whod understand them.

Anywho, the day finally came when I had had it with his two month span appearances and empty promises. If there is someone who can know what the real meaning of empty promises is, its gotta be me! I couldn’t believe that after such a long time, it was finally over. And guess what, I didn’t feel a thing!

Now, singledom is sweet! To some people I have someone in my life, to some, I have mutliple people. In the end it ain’t none of anyone’s biz! Well, someday something will happen and it will be good.

Wake me up when that day comes! And make me a sandwich while you’re at it!

Why Human Rights?

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As my post title goes, I often seem to ask myself that question. Why human rights? Why all the emphasis? And why should it be a problem to us?

Well, simple. Because we are human. Period.

We are all human beings. The declaration of human rights puts it quite clearly…

“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights and all human rights are universal, interdependent, indivisible, and interrelated”

Its clear cut and very easy to understand if you ask me. As in, we are all equal. All of us. There is no chagua chagua.

There is no “some are more equal than others” unless you’re a politician in Kenya, or wish to be one because thats never it. It never will be either.

I can only say why I call myself a human rights defender/activist. I do it because first of all, I am human and I respect humanity. On my facebook page, my description goes…

“Extremely open-minded, unique, distinct, lovingly lovable, believes in the power of Peace Love Unity and Respect, ardent human rights activist & defender, friend, sociable, and intrepid! A bundle of simplistic class & creativity!”

That description already covers my love for humanity and my belief in PLUR. I am passionate about human rights especially so because its imperative that some voice be heard. There aren’t too many young voices out there making enough noise about it and I want to be one of the few that will raise theirs. I want to see change in our society.

Too many evils are going on in our society. Most of it is because of blantant disrespect for human beings in general. We don’t respect each other. That is one of my major concerns. But the one thing that really gets me going is my faith and belief in LOVE. I hold those infamous two greatest commandments by Jesus in high regard because I believe they hold the key to having good relationships with one another. They are the best way to live. Follow these two and trust me, you will have a fulfilling life. Here they are.

1.Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength.
2.Love your neighbour as you love yourself.

Another bit of scripture that I go back to constantly is 1st Corinthians 13, the one about love. Here it is.

“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

In essence, you get my point. For me, its mostly about loove. I love people. I love people regardless. Fine, I don’t like bad behaviour, but I truly believe that people aren’t meant to be bad. Call me naïve but thats the way I feel.

Love someone this week!

That Thing Called Anesthesia

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I decided to write this post just because. Yea, just because!

Well I was bored. And I hadn’t posted anything in a while so there. Thats why.

I’m at home. Nursing my wounds… No, just nursing!. I went for surgery on Monday. There was something I needed to take care of and I finally had the means to do so! Whoopeee!!

To be honest, I am so proud of me. Really proud.

Now its recovery time. And boy oh boy am I bored. I don’t know whether the title of “Workaholic” befits me but enyewe I’m not the kind of person who yearns for 3-day weekends! I rarely go out and, coffee dates…wait, what are those? Exactly! I tend to be by myself a lot. And I am very particular when it comes to spending money! In other words, I call myself an economist. Going out for me needs to be budgeted for! Actually, almost everything for me needs to be budgeted for, planned ahead, etcetera etcetera.

Funny, I call myself spontaneous….. hmmm…..

I have never gone “under the knife” nor had a “nip and tuck” (Hehe am tryna be funny here! Work with me!) bur honestly, that experience was amazing. I mean, you get goosebumps all over and you talk with the doctor and he’s all cool calm and collected (unlike you!—thats why you never did medicine!) telling you to relax…its just an hour long operation ….and you’re on safe hands…am experienced….and don’t worry…you wont feel a thing….and all that nonesence stuff! In your head you cant stop thinking OMG! OMG! OMG! How is it gonna be! OMG! Am I okay? OMG! What the fkuc is anasthesia? OMG! Say what? I wont feel nothing? PHEW!!! Your worst fears are over and you smile back at him and follow him to the operating room.

Hmm…that light is big I say! Oh why are there so many people in here? Didn’t you say its a small operation?

Yes dear, don’t worry. These are students and they’re here to learn. You don’t mind now do you?

Oh no, of course not! I don’t mind…except you never told me am gonna be a lab rat! Kwani who do you think I am? You just wanna cut me up infront of these strangers and…

Ah,,,these ain’t no strangers Joliea, this here is Matthew, Mary, Lu….

I don’t give a isht who they are! I ain’t no lab rat… I am a well respected……. ooh! Is that a poodle? Ive always loved poodles! Here pretty pretty pretty! Come to mama….come to ma… ZZZzzzzz….

And that darn anasthesia kicks in. Hours later I find myself in bed and shaking like a leaf in autumn…wait…we don’t have autumn in Kenya! Oops my bad! OK…like a leaf in….er……Limuru. So, where was I, umm..oh, here, so I wake up shaking like a you-know-what in you-know-where (OK am being silly now!) and my friends are looking at me in disbelief…I ask myself, kwani am dead ama? It seems like am awake bur am not…WTH!!??

I try to mumble afew words but nadda! I wonder… Then the doc comes in and tells me to wake up. That the procedure went well.

And here are what we removed.

Eew!! are you trying to kill me again?! He hids the whatever-he-had and smiles and goes away.

And the rest is history.

Voila, am at home and recovering. That was my version of the story. I think someone laced the anasthesia with some pot…hmm…i wonder,,,,,,

Nice tym y’all!

Oh, and I have no lights! Darn KPLC! NB: Here in Kenya, ‘lights’ and ‘electricity’ mean the same thing!


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This may seem like a lack of plot but I actually do lack a plot! Ouch! In other news, I have qualms I’d like to vent here kidogo.
Don’t you hate it when you enter a mat and all you have is a thao note in hand and the makanga looks like he dasnt want anything to do with anyone then here you are ongezeaing him mastress za asubuhi!? Isn’t it so much of an embarrasment when you have to start explaining ati woiye sina pesa ingine (I don’t have any other cash) then you see the poor lad with a down-cum-angry face opening the mat door with gusto to go out and scout for change just for you!?
Don’t you hate it when you’re wearing heels and a skirt and its raining and its like every damn car has beef with you? Every damn car!! all of them start splashing murky puddle water on your nice legs kwanza end its morning! Gai fafa! #Nkt!
Don’t you hate it when its in the cold season and your in a tiny mat sandwitched between two “well built” ladies and both of them don’t give a hoot about your much needed comfort #IfYouKnowWhatIMean!? Its just so annoying! And to top it all off…
Don’t you hate it when still in that teeny weeny mat you’re in, every goddamned person seated at a window explicitly refuses to open the window! Ati coz “kuna baridi”. Baridi my a**! (I think @Chiira posted something like this on his blog.)
And finally, don’t you just hate it when you go to a very expensive looking restaurant eager to savour their delicious meals and what you get is a lousy lazy waiter who looks like he had his fair shots of marijuana for breakfast lunch and brunch? I mean, kwani the supervisor too is in on it? And then you order something and they mutter to you something like “Ala Carte takes longer bla bla bla” WTH is that? OK, you give them respect coz, after all, it is expensive looking! Then finally when your meal arrives it is neatly arranged on a big plate smack right on the middle. No wait…its not the plate thats big! Damn you expensive looking restaurant!
Enjoy your cold Thursday won’t you!

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