8 Random Facts About Me

I was tagged by crazy @Mizcassandrae on her post here and duuh…i couldn’t resist. Not that I have much to say…maybe I do…maybe I don’t…maybe I do…okay I reeealy need to stop doing that!

Here are some 8 random facts about me.

1.   I am very open minded. Very very open minded. Extremely open mi…okay maybe am exaggerating it a lil bit! But its true. I tend to pick stuff quite easily without raising an eyebrow so much. Or at least without yelping in shock or squirming in disgust. Is that weird? Hope not! I tend to think its a good feature in me (Jeez! Ati feature? Kwani am a gadget! SMH!)

2.   I am unique. Very unique. Those who truly know me know what am talking about. And its no news. Something I got from my parents I think…. yea. Am unique. And am not alone. Don’t even ask…si this is random?

3.   I feel like am 5 years older than I truly am. ← that’s soo random!

4.   I am an only child. Its been cool. My family has two. Just me and my mom! Hopefully, I shall give my child a brother or sister and try to keep the dad around! (that sounded so bad! ‘try to keep the dad around’? SMH!)

5.   I am still undergoing ACCA (Association of Chartered Certified Accountants)! Bado sijamaliza! Am at part two with only two papers passed I have like 4 more to go of these and then 5 in part three which I hear is the epitome of hell!

6.   I hate rumouring, sycophants, hypocrites, wanna-bes, pretenders, and anything else that people like to bandika themselves while hiding your true self! I simply don’t like pretenders!

7.   I loooove theatre! Don’t ask me why I ain’t there. I ask myself that question too over and over and over and over again! Sheesh! But not to worry. Plans are underway to ensure that I have my footing where it best fits. Not that am hating on my job…i love my job (*chanting* I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.) I really do. And it keeps me going. But watch this space people, you’ll see me on yo screens someday! Ngoja tu!

8.   I think am pretty. #ThereISaidIt!

Phew! That wasn’t too hard now was it?

Onwards with the tagging: I hereby tag thee

Kawiria

Coloseum and

Cuppatea!

TAG! YOU’RE IT!!

*Over & Out*

That Thing Called Anesthesia

I decided to write this post just because. Yea, just because!

Well I was bored. And I hadn’t posted anything in a while so there. Thats why.

I’m at home. Nursing my wounds… No, just nursing!. I went for surgery on Monday. There was something I needed to take care of and I finally had the means to do so! Whoopeee!!

To be honest, I am so proud of me. Really proud.

Now its recovery time. And boy oh boy am I bored. I don’t know whether the title of “Workaholic” befits me but enyewe I’m not the kind of person who yearns for 3-day weekends! I rarely go out and, coffee dates…wait, what are those? Exactly! I tend to be by myself a lot. And I am very particular when it comes to spending money! In other words, I call myself an economist. Going out for me needs to be budgeted for! Actually, almost everything for me needs to be budgeted for, planned ahead, etcetera etcetera.

Funny, I call myself spontaneous….. hmmm…..

I have never gone “under the knife” nor had a “nip and tuck” (Hehe am tryna be funny here! Work with me!) bur honestly, that experience was amazing. I mean, you get goosebumps all over and you talk with the doctor and he’s all cool calm and collected (unlike you!—thats why you never did medicine!) telling you to relax…its just an hour long operation ….and you’re on safe hands…am experienced….and don’t worry…you wont feel a thing….and all that nonesence stuff! In your head you cant stop thinking OMG! OMG! OMG! How is it gonna be! OMG! Am I okay? OMG! What the fkuc is anasthesia? OMG! Say what? I wont feel nothing? PHEW!!! Your worst fears are over and you smile back at him and follow him to the operating room.

Hmm…that light is big I say! Oh why are there so many people in here? Didn’t you say its a small operation?

Yes dear, don’t worry. These are students and they’re here to learn. You don’t mind now do you?

Oh no, of course not! I don’t mind…except you never told me am gonna be a lab rat! Kwani who do you think I am? You just wanna cut me up infront of these strangers and…

Ah,,,these ain’t no strangers Joliea, this here is Matthew, Mary, Lu….

I don’t give a isht who they are! I ain’t no lab rat… I am a well respected……. ooh! Is that a poodle? Ive always loved poodles! Here pretty pretty pretty! Come to mama….come to ma… ZZZzzzzz….

And that darn anasthesia kicks in. Hours later I find myself in bed and shaking like a leaf in autumn…wait…we don’t have autumn in Kenya! Oops my bad! OK…like a leaf in….er……Limuru. So, where was I, umm..oh, here, so I wake up shaking like a you-know-what in you-know-where (OK am being silly now!) and my friends are looking at me in disbelief…I ask myself, kwani am dead ama? It seems like am awake bur am not…WTH!!??

I try to mumble afew words but nadda! I wonder… Then the doc comes in and tells me to wake up. That the procedure went well.

And here are what we removed.

Eew!! are you trying to kill me again?! He hids the whatever-he-had and smiles and goes away.

And the rest is history.

Voila, am at home and recovering. That was my version of the story. I think someone laced the anasthesia with some pot…hmm…i wonder,,,,,,

Nice tym y’all!

Oh, and I have no lights! Darn KPLC! NB: Here in Kenya, ‘lights’ and ‘electricity’ mean the same thing!

#DontYouHateItWhen

This may seem like a lack of plot but I actually do lack a plot! Ouch! In other news, I have qualms I’d like to vent here kidogo.
Don’t you hate it when you enter a mat and all you have is a thao note in hand and the makanga looks like he dasnt want anything to do with anyone then here you are ongezeaing him mastress za asubuhi!? Isn’t it so much of an embarrasment when you have to start explaining ati woiye sina pesa ingine (I don’t have any other cash) then you see the poor lad with a down-cum-angry face opening the mat door with gusto to go out and scout for change just for you!?
Don’t you hate it when you’re wearing heels and a skirt and its raining and its like every damn car has beef with you? Every damn car!! all of them start splashing murky puddle water on your nice legs kwanza end its morning! Gai fafa! #Nkt!
Don’t you hate it when its in the cold season and your in a tiny mat sandwitched between two “well built” ladies and both of them don’t give a hoot about your much needed comfort #IfYouKnowWhatIMean!? Its just so annoying! And to top it all off…
Don’t you hate it when still in that teeny weeny mat you’re in, every goddamned person seated at a window explicitly refuses to open the window! Ati coz “kuna baridi”. Baridi my a**! (I think @Chiira posted something like this on his blog.)
And finally, don’t you just hate it when you go to a very expensive looking restaurant eager to savour their delicious meals and what you get is a lousy lazy waiter who looks like he had his fair shots of marijuana for breakfast lunch and brunch? I mean, kwani the supervisor too is in on it? And then you order something and they mutter to you something like “Ala Carte takes longer bla bla bla” WTH is that? OK, you give them respect coz, after all, it is expensive looking! Then finally when your meal arrives it is neatly arranged on a big plate smack right on the middle. No wait…its not the plate thats big! Damn you expensive looking restaurant!
Enjoy your cold Thursday won’t you!

Oh Wheeer……is my Mind!?

Image courtesy of Toonpool.

Of late I have gotten this ill behaviour of reaching the office and the first thing I do is read blogs. I am turning into a blogwhore OMG!! #Hownow? Seriously things have to change. I said it before and I will say it again. Its jeopardising my job sometimes, not always. But then again I love it, I love it I said that thrice!

So is there a cure? Well, no. oh I just answered myself. There comes a time my daughter that you reach a point of no return and the only cure in the world is to poke at….ok what the hell am I saying??

Blah! Scratch that. I am now lost.

Help me find my mind!

p.s. I will be going for minor surgery next week so may I be in your prayers and mentions to your God. AMEN!